There is no such thing as a “bad dancer”

That’s it. That is the whole point of this post. I get wound up by those who insist on being negative about other dancers’ abilities or style.

Fortunately I live in a lovely scene where most people are quite positive about each other. But sometimes you hear these comments sneaking into conversations, exchanges, camps, on the internet, or in the back of a shared taxi to an after party when they think no-one is listening.

So here are my thoughts.

a) No-one was born knowing a specific form of dance.

Everyone was a beginner once, and everyone is somewhere on a learning curve.

You may be less experienced, or more experienced, but no-one is “bad”. Beginners are just beginning- be nice to them and help them have the enthusiasm and courage to begin to realise their potential and to feel good about it.

But they will take different amounts of time.

Some people take longer at stages of their learning curve than others, and some practise more or less. Some are at a natural advantage e.g. being very good at watching and replicating movements, and some may be disadvantaged, e.g. if they have never learnt a dance, or thought about rhythm before and find it more difficult than others. But that doesn’t make them bad, it makes them learning. Sometimes people will have been dancing for ages and moving very slowly on the learning curve - or have a plateau before moving on up. They are still learning. We are all still learning.

However it is possible to be an AMAZING dancer, or a good dancer, or a great dancer, or whatever else you want to say. Those are all positive terms so I am all in favour! (Though they are not descriptive, as “great” to someone may mean technically brilliant, where great to another may mean imaginative and fun, or really positive, or very comfortable or whatever else you may enjoy about them.)

A wise person knows there is always more to learn.

b) Its only dancing.

Now don’t get me wrong- I love dancing as much as the next swing-crazed camp-going exchange-organising lindy teacher and occasional choreographer. I love it.

For the feeling and the music, but largely because it is a very sociable and fun thing to do. I don’t do it to be the best (and I know full well I’m never going to be), I do it for the joy. Take away the social/fun/joy, and most people would probably go do Zumba or something instead.

Being an amazing technical “serious” dancer, does not make someone a nice, friendly, loving, fun or kind person. It doesn’t validate your humanity.

We all know people who have been a pleasure to dance with from day one, because of their enthusiasm, happiness and friendly personality. People who take an interest and are kind, regardless of what level of a camp you have booked onto. They may be extremely inexperienced, but never “bad”, because of all the “good” they bring with them.

We also all know people who are advanced/experienced dancers, but to put it frankly, twats.

c) Sometimes we just don’t connect…

Sometimes people just don’t dance particularly well together. They may both be really great experienced dancers, but sometimes people just don’t fit together as well as they will with other dancers.

Everyone has people they connect more with than others, and often it will be better given a second try, so if you have a dance with someone where you feel disconnected or even if it all goes wrong, have a laugh, have a chat, be super friendly, call it a warm up, and dance another.

If this doesn’t work- never mind. Sometimes people just don’t click as well.

There is a dancer in my scene who I could never dance with, especially as a beginner though it is better now.

A few years ago he said to me something along the lines of “It’s amazing how much you’ve progressed. You were a pretty challenging follow, at first.”

I thought it was hilarious. Talk about a backhanded compliment. But I also thought it was great, because when I was beginning he was always positive, encouraging and friendly, and always willing to dance. I was pants, but no-one said that to me- I would have been completely crushed and probably stopped coming to classes (because between you and me, internet, I’m a very sensitive soul and am not very good at taking things on the chin) but I tried, and improved because people encouraged me and gave me a chance.

d) The Exception.

The exception to the “there are no bad dancers” in my opinion, are when people make others uncomfortable. In terms of skill, I genuinely believe that everyone is learning and has potential and no-one should be “bad”.

However, the only things I would describe as “bad” are things that make people uncomfortable. If you do it accidentally once or twice, fair enough, but act within normal social parameters as you would to anyone else! Dancer or not!

It is not ok to lick a relative stranger, or touch them inappropriately, or to lead them through the medium of groin contact, or to tell them they are doing something wrong,  to do anything that physically hurts them.

Unless they as you to of course. If someone says “Hey, during this dance please stare unremittingly at my chest and then try to lick my ear”, then by all means go ahead, With relish.

Conclusion

So let’s not talk about “bad” dancers, or “shit” dancers or any other negative comments on learning/skill level.

Let’s talk about less experienced dancers, or beginners, or improvers, or “Dave- the one who always does the hilarious pecking” or “Jenny, who is a cancer nurse”, “Happy Lucy” or “Alan who does the plank at inappropriate moments” or whatever you want to do to describe someone. And feel free to use as many amazing positive phrases as you like!

Everyone has space to learn, and the best dancers in the world will mostly happily discuss things they are working on or things they are learning or devising.

If they can’t, they’re probably not the best dancers in the world.

Some of these dancers had only had two classes before they began learning this routine- but they are all FANTASTIC! Full of enthusiasm and ready to give it a go. That is what makes a "good" dancer, to me.

If we want the world around us to be a more positive place, we have to be more positive. "Be the change you want to see in the world."

This blog was brought to your by its sponsor Lemon, Honey, Duvet and Laptop, whilst nursing my proto-chest-infection that makes my lungs feel like they’re going to rip out and turn inside out every time I cough. Hurrah!
It is also brought to you by Inevitable Hypocrisy- I try to always say more/less experienced, but if you hear me say bad/good, forgive me. I try my hardest and please do correct me in a nice way, because I wrote this blog I'm clearly asking for it.

Helena's Beautiful Festive Advent Calendar of Joy

So for the first few days of Advent I had neither calendar or candle! So I decided to mark these days in my own way, by making a facebook advent calendar linking to Christmas themed things.

Today I got a real chocolate advent calendar, and behind doors 1, 2 and 3, where flighteningly mishapen almost-characters. One may have been a snowman, before his head was melted. Another may have been Santa. With neurofibromatosis. The Elephant Santa.

So I've decided this way is better, and to make it last longer and put it all in the same place, in blog form.

Just so you know- the first day's delightful surprise does not indicate that all the other days will follow in the same manner.... So don't be put off.

1st December 2011

Open the first door!! (go on, click on it.)

Wooo... If all went correctly in internet there should have been some rocking around of Christmas trees, a cameo of Rolf Harris and Santa bursting out of a massive present with a saxophone?

Excellent.

2nd December 2011

(you may want to bing the bell before you open this door)

Hurray!!

3rd December 2011

Hurrah! This was a bit of a find. It is quite hard to find people of this period with videos on youtube when looking for something specific- i.e. Christmas music, in a particular film or whatever.

Check back soon to open the next doors :D

Festive love xx

A blog entry born out of boredom

A blog entry born out of boredom

This title reminds me of an article I read when I was 13 or 14, about two 13/14 year old cousins who got “bored” in a caravan at Centre Parcs when their parents were out and conceived a little inbred baby. But to be fair- in terms of keeping yourself occupied, it probably worked.


We had great fun watching Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus the other day. It is a triumph of cinematic achievement. Esp if what you want from your cinema is monsters which are improbably created/found, really really emotional facial expressions and really pretty chemicals in test tubes which never quite turn the right colour until the “chemistry” is right- i.e. two scientists have sex, and then it clicks and they find the answers (which glow neon yellow in the test tube- that's how they know it's worked), inspired by their love.

My favourite bit was when the shark bit the plane out of the sky. Unfortunatly their graphics weren't great for this so this one of it eating the San Fran Golden Gate Bridge will have to do.

This prompted us to discuss and therefore learn lots of stuff about e.g. octopodes. I say octopodes because I am a classical pedant, and octopus as a Greek word should be pluralised to octopodes. But if you say octopuses I won’t develop murderous rage. Unless you say “octopi”. WOAH. Just no. Die in a festering hole made of poisonous spikes.

So anyway- let me tell you about octopodes. Actually I can’t be bothered to paraphrase. So here is some quality copy-pasting.

“Using a network of pigment cells and specialized muscles in its skin, the common octopus can almost instantaneously match the colors, patterns, and even textures of its surroundings. Predators such as sharks, eels, and dolphins swim by without even noticing it.”

“When discovered, an octopus will release a cloud of black ink to obscure its attacker's view, giving it time to swim away. The ink even contains a substance that dulls a predator's sense of smell, making the fleeing octopus harder to track. Fast swimmers, they can jet forward by expelling water through their mantles. And their soft bodies can squeeze into impossibly small cracks and crevices where predators can't follow.”

“An octopus can lose an arm to escape a predator's grasp and regrow it later with no permanent damage. They also have beaklike jaws that can deliver a nasty bite, and venomous saliva, used mainly for subduing prey.”

“They can grow to about 4.3 feet (1.3 meters) in length and weigh up to 22 pounds (10 kilograms), although averages are much smaller”
And because I am good academic pedant here is a citation!

So. I will tell you about my Sunday.

On Sunday I was at work. But in Leeds all the swingers were learning the Big Apple, with the beautiful Jazz Extravaganza that is Cat Foley (seriously- this woman has MAGIC feet. Help her out and book her to teach dancing and stuff), and then/or dancing in Golden Acre Park! I wanted to be dancing.
Here is a video of what they acheived. Well done all!

Instead I spent the morning at work, prodding at some very difficult poo, which had been left in a toilet in the gents over night, with a stick. It actually took hours.
Everyone was dancing, and I was pouring horrible chemicals around, and scraping at masses of faeces. Rather than dancing. Bad and upsetting times.

I’m going to move on from this now because there’s not much else I can say without being unnecessarily gratuitous... but it wasn’t very pleasant.

So I’ve been thinking a bit about ways to fill silence. I used to think I was pretty good at this, but I seem to have lost my mojo. I realised this especially a few weeks ago at Bristol Lindy Exchange. My ability to strike up exciting conversation with people who I know a bit has suffered. Strangers/friends are fine, but people-I-know-just-a-bit are more difficult. I do tend to come of significantly more insane than I genuinely am.

I once heard someone say “sometimes silence is so intense you get the urge to set yourself on fire just to distract away from it.” I do not recommend this course. I mean it will probably work, but there may be unpleasant side effects- i.e. being on fire, making everyone think you are terrifyingly insane...again...being on fire, gaining severe burns... varieties on these themes. But as I say, people *will* talk.
I mean, if you want to break a silence and you really don’t *care* if you come off frighteningly insane, there are loads of options. “MMmm... can you taste murderous hate?” or “Ever eaten a cat?”

My friend Mike recently broke a silence with “Did you know it was legal to rape your wife until 1993?” I thought this was great. If you know your audience can deal with inappropriate comments and will enjoy the comedy value, and in this case, not get the impression that you are a fan of rape. I am a bit bad at judging who enjoys inappropriate comedy and tend to just say things anyway, but this is a fairly good way of weeding out the boring people, so as long as it’s not at work it’s generally ok-ish.

I used to pose interesting questions. E.g. If you were a biblical plague which biblical plague would you be? This is a pretty good one but I think I’ve used it on almost everyone I know. I’d be rain of fire, so you know. Then I would have a mild corruption of a famous Johnny Cash song all of my own. Also very good- would you rather have arms made of cheese or legs made of beef? Both are pretty much useless, unfortunately. I’d rather have legs made of beef, because when they rot or fall off or get eaten by stuff, I’d still have the use of my arms. However I heard a *great* answer once which was, “I’d rather have arms made of cheese, because I’d rather eat my own arms than have dogs eat my legs.” Excellent. This person was a genius of giant proportions. (the genius element was giant, not the actual person.)

Inspired by Mike I am going to start trying to break silence with inappropriate comments. E.g. “It takes nine years for a corpse to become a skeleton”, or “10% of dry human weight comes from bacteria”. What do you think? I’m not sure it’ll start a long conversation, but it’ll acknowledge the silence with comedy/interesting fact, and that’s got to achieve something good right?

Till next tie! I O U a dance move of the week very soon.

xx

From Bristol Lindy Exchange to Turkey Darts

This weekend I have been to Bristol Lindy Exchange for five whole days of dancey wonder. After weekends like this I am always hyped up on Swing. It astonishes me that partner dancing has somehow stopped being mainstream sometime around and after the 50s. Did people just decide it was more fun to dance on their own? Utter madness.

Or perhaps, did feminism start to out-mode the partner dances?  It is slightly frustrating sometimes and requires a kind of submissive compliance probably at odds to increasing sexual equality to be always doing whatever your lead wants, with normally little scope for creativity except for styling. This is why I like to follow *and* lead: so that sometimes *I* can control what moves fit the music and the energy of the dance. (Saying this following is great too, and it is wonderfully satisfying to follow well, but I think this may be a slightly more post-feminist view. Prog-feminism).

But surely it’s loads more fun to just lead as a lady or follow as a guy than to abandon the idea completely? Or was it not yet acceptable for a woman to act a man’s role and vice versa and the world needed a few decades of sexual equalisation before we were able to discuss leads and follows instead? 

And the progression is definitely not complete. I know lots of ladies who lead, but only a handful of men who are comfortable and get regular practise. I have heard men say they’d like to follow, but they’d worry that they’d make the leads uncomfortable. I have also heard some people tell others than men shouldn’t follow, “it’s just wrong.”

NO! Get over it! Men! Break free of your shackles and be gender-liberated! It’s loads more fun to have the freedom to vary your role, and even if it’s just a learning method, it’ll improve your leading tons. Freedom for men! Be inspired by this picture:

 Um. Wait. No.
This one!

Yes that one. Feel the gender freedom. But I recommend not burning your underwear. You may feel the gender freedom a bit more, but there's a time and a place for that.

Perhaps it’s much simpler than this, and it is characteristic of younger generations to eschew the practices of their parents and grandparents. This is why no-one in my year at school was called Gladys, Ethel or Doris, and why these days mullets only ever really happen by accident. Was swing dancing their embarrassing dad disco dancing equivalent?

These things do tend to come full circle though. When the original Ethels, Bertholds and Mabels, in their small print floral dresses (maybe not Berthold), smelling of lavender, sitting on ancient sofas covered in doily, are yesterday’s obituaries and long past needing their lilac rinses refreshed, people begin to look back on their hay-day with nostalgia and romance, and forget the less attractive ancient Ethel.

My youngest sister is called Amelia Frances. I was surprised when I was little because I thought this was an old lady name (sorry Milly). But no. It turns out there are now quite a few little Amelias. I was wrong. This was clearly the transition. She and I now wear small print floral dresses, and actually, I really *like* lavender. I also have a top made of about 20% doily.

So none of this rambling is conclusive, and all just my musings. But basically I am explaining my reasons for believing that the time is ripe for swing to retake the world.

Simples. Rally the dance troops!

(On that subject I want to be part of a dance troop! (not one with designs on world-domination) But it’s not going to work brilliantly at the moment, as things like that, where there is selectivity required, are a recipe for social disaster. There’ll always be people who think they should be in something they shouldn’t, or people who are borderline, or people who have not been selected when they should have been, all kinds of political and emotional horrors. The only way I think we could manage it was if someone who was clearly already in charge organised it. E.g. Christi and Paul in Edinburgh’s dance troop will work because they already have that position of authority. This basically means one of about 4 teachers in Leeds and I doubt this will happen. So we shall be troop-less.)

Back to exchanges: Exchanges are awesome. I wish we had one, but I’m not sure we have the market for both http://www.fsosleeds.com/ and a Leeds Lindy eXchange. And other people seem to think this too unfortunately, because it would be *awesome*. I wish every weekend was an exchange weekend. I would be a lot fitter too which would fab. Although my calves may end up the width of my waist. Which would not be fab.

So on the canal boat at Bristol LX we were discussing swing-ish songs which are disgusting. Yesterday I found this, it is called “Here comes the snake”. Oh dear. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DuKryUfa6Q

At least The Spinach Song was relatively disguised. I am still able to mostly think about iron rich edible leaves when listening to it.

I just tried to find an amusing video to link to you to enjoy, but in fact I just intensely disturbed myself by typing in something suggested to me by Seb Sikora. Bad Seb. I shall link something very different.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXoYK4b_q24&feature=fvw

This idea was inspired by Raulph Lauren, who have brought out a range of men's fragrences called, "The Big Pony Collection". Yes. I can see the logic... "What to girls like...? Um... Chocolate... Shopping... OH OH PONIES!" "Yes! Ponies! You're a genius". Presuably then someone in the marketing team involved a male preoccupation with size, and ta daa!

I hope they smell of different types of steaming wet horse. That would be very hot. "The Big Pony Collection" comes in four different scents. I hoped that one would be like "fallabella", but in fact they are things adventure, seduction, etc.

fallabella pony

This one is made brilliant by the inclusion of Turkey Darts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtBWMGRD_pc&feature=related

 Massive love to everyone, esp if you went on Bristol Lindy Exchange.

 xxxxx

Debts and Swing Geekery

Debt

First of all: this is not a nasty comment on anyone, and is not to imply that anyone is petty or has even *asked* for a sandwich! It only developed out of comedy value and because I wanted to create the picture below :)

Last night in the pub we were discussing the subject of owings. Various different things were owed to other people within the group. For example: I owe Seb Sikora a sandwich. Hello Seb. I'm aware I owe you a sandwich. However considering I regularly drive Seb and others various places, can a sandwich just equate to some retrospective petropennies? However it also seems that Seb owes Nikki £20. So maybe that means I actually owe Nikki a sandwich, and then Seb owes her approx £18?


Well. By the suggestion of various people I have made Seb a sandwich.

As you can see it contains super noodles, cilit bang, and condoms. But they're flavoured so that's ok. So Seb. Do you want a sandwich?


Here are some brilliant musings upon debt by David Mitchell. Personally I want to meet some of these people who like to wave away debt. So I can borrow lots of money off them.

Swing Geekery!

We who swing know that swing is a geek dance. Right? It seems to attract relatively clever people who want to have fun (rather than stroke each other like more Salsa-ish types.) But look at this glorious example of swing geekery.

Yep. It's a balboa HTML joke in t-shirt form modelled by Linda. She had a lindy one too, but people thought it was her name spelt wrong so she had to give it away.

I did just write a long diatribe on my theory as to why swing is more geeky, but it turned out not to be funny, so it has gone the way of common decency and community spirity in urban areas. It's dead. very dead.

So now look i have all this space to fill as the new blogger writing wotsit won't let me put photos next to each other! Stupid blogger. Why is that? grrrrr...

Ummm.... so. Filler....

The above two ladies are Linda in the geek-shirt, and Svetlana who has a difficult surname. Svetlana and Harry are BalboaNorth. Learning balboa is quite fun... Most importantly they have free tea and biscuits!!! This is very very important.






BIG GAP







Lots of love!!