There is no such thing as a “bad dancer”

That’s it. That is the whole point of this post. I get wound up by those who insist on being negative about other dancers’ abilities or style.

Fortunately I live in a lovely scene where most people are quite positive about each other. But sometimes you hear these comments sneaking into conversations, exchanges, camps, on the internet, or in the back of a shared taxi to an after party when they think no-one is listening.

So here are my thoughts.

a) No-one was born knowing a specific form of dance.

Everyone was a beginner once, and everyone is somewhere on a learning curve.

You may be less experienced, or more experienced, but no-one is “bad”. Beginners are just beginning- be nice to them and help them have the enthusiasm and courage to begin to realise their potential and to feel good about it.

But they will take different amounts of time.

Some people take longer at stages of their learning curve than others, and some practise more or less. Some are at a natural advantage e.g. being very good at watching and replicating movements, and some may be disadvantaged, e.g. if they have never learnt a dance, or thought about rhythm before and find it more difficult than others. But that doesn’t make them bad, it makes them learning. Sometimes people will have been dancing for ages and moving very slowly on the learning curve - or have a plateau before moving on up. They are still learning. We are all still learning.

However it is possible to be an AMAZING dancer, or a good dancer, or a great dancer, or whatever else you want to say. Those are all positive terms so I am all in favour! (Though they are not descriptive, as “great” to someone may mean technically brilliant, where great to another may mean imaginative and fun, or really positive, or very comfortable or whatever else you may enjoy about them.)

A wise person knows there is always more to learn.

b) Its only dancing.

Now don’t get me wrong- I love dancing as much as the next swing-crazed camp-going exchange-organising lindy teacher and occasional choreographer. I love it.

For the feeling and the music, but largely because it is a very sociable and fun thing to do. I don’t do it to be the best (and I know full well I’m never going to be), I do it for the joy. Take away the social/fun/joy, and most people would probably go do Zumba or something instead.

Being an amazing technical “serious” dancer, does not make someone a nice, friendly, loving, fun or kind person. It doesn’t validate your humanity.

We all know people who have been a pleasure to dance with from day one, because of their enthusiasm, happiness and friendly personality. People who take an interest and are kind, regardless of what level of a camp you have booked onto. They may be extremely inexperienced, but never “bad”, because of all the “good” they bring with them.

We also all know people who are advanced/experienced dancers, but to put it frankly, twats.

c) Sometimes we just don’t connect…

Sometimes people just don’t dance particularly well together. They may both be really great experienced dancers, but sometimes people just don’t fit together as well as they will with other dancers.

Everyone has people they connect more with than others, and often it will be better given a second try, so if you have a dance with someone where you feel disconnected or even if it all goes wrong, have a laugh, have a chat, be super friendly, call it a warm up, and dance another.

If this doesn’t work- never mind. Sometimes people just don’t click as well.

There is a dancer in my scene who I could never dance with, especially as a beginner though it is better now.

A few years ago he said to me something along the lines of “It’s amazing how much you’ve progressed. You were a pretty challenging follow, at first.”

I thought it was hilarious. Talk about a backhanded compliment. But I also thought it was great, because when I was beginning he was always positive, encouraging and friendly, and always willing to dance. I was pants, but no-one said that to me- I would have been completely crushed and probably stopped coming to classes (because between you and me, internet, I’m a very sensitive soul and am not very good at taking things on the chin) but I tried, and improved because people encouraged me and gave me a chance.

d) The Exception.

The exception to the “there are no bad dancers” in my opinion, are when people make others uncomfortable. In terms of skill, I genuinely believe that everyone is learning and has potential and no-one should be “bad”.

However, the only things I would describe as “bad” are things that make people uncomfortable. If you do it accidentally once or twice, fair enough, but act within normal social parameters as you would to anyone else! Dancer or not!

It is not ok to lick a relative stranger, or touch them inappropriately, or to lead them through the medium of groin contact, or to tell them they are doing something wrong,  to do anything that physically hurts them.

Unless they as you to of course. If someone says “Hey, during this dance please stare unremittingly at my chest and then try to lick my ear”, then by all means go ahead, With relish.

Conclusion

So let’s not talk about “bad” dancers, or “shit” dancers or any other negative comments on learning/skill level.

Let’s talk about less experienced dancers, or beginners, or improvers, or “Dave- the one who always does the hilarious pecking” or “Jenny, who is a cancer nurse”, “Happy Lucy” or “Alan who does the plank at inappropriate moments” or whatever you want to do to describe someone. And feel free to use as many amazing positive phrases as you like!

Everyone has space to learn, and the best dancers in the world will mostly happily discuss things they are working on or things they are learning or devising.

If they can’t, they’re probably not the best dancers in the world.

Some of these dancers had only had two classes before they began learning this routine- but they are all FANTASTIC! Full of enthusiasm and ready to give it a go. That is what makes a "good" dancer, to me.

If we want the world around us to be a more positive place, we have to be more positive. "Be the change you want to see in the world."

This blog was brought to your by its sponsor Lemon, Honey, Duvet and Laptop, whilst nursing my proto-chest-infection that makes my lungs feel like they’re going to rip out and turn inside out every time I cough. Hurrah!
It is also brought to you by Inevitable Hypocrisy- I try to always say more/less experienced, but if you hear me say bad/good, forgive me. I try my hardest and please do correct me in a nice way, because I wrote this blog I'm clearly asking for it.