Gangnam Style Scottish Tudor Socks

So. I had a *lovely* time last weekend, swing dancing in Edinburgh with loads of brilliant people.

However, over the weekend I referred to, and made comparison with a variety of things, to be met with blank stares. So HERE are either a) a selection of random things which are hopefully entertaining or interesting or b) that thing I was talking about so now you understand/know a bit more.

Gangnam Style!

I was planning to Gangnam up my lindy a bit this weekend for comedy value. If you don’t know what this means – look here.

Gangnam Style, by Psy is number 1 in the charts of many countries and is a kinda K-Pop pastiche on people from the area called Gangnam.

“"Gangnam is a territory in Seoul, Korea. I describe it as noble at the daytime and going crazy at the night time. I compare ladies to the territory. So — noble at the daytime, going crazy at the night time — and the lyric says I am the right guy for the lady who is like that." Psy. Btw Oppa means kind of big brother/father/dad. So a mix between the colloquial “Brother” and the Jazz “Daddy” I think.

The Video is well known for being quite funny but I think is funnier for those familiar with Korean TV etc as it features loads of cameos by celebs. E.g. the guy in the lift is a TV comedian doing his “signature pelvic thrusts”.

Who knows.

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

Do what they say on the tin. Have a look at these vids. Hopefully they will brighten your day. I have had the honour of seeing the Socks live in Harrogate a couple of years ago :D

Some Socks! 

Some more, this time Sci Fi related Socks.

 

Maximilian I

So. Henry VIII was Maximilian I’s (1459-1519, Holy Roman Emperor) biggest fan. He loved him greatly.

Maximilian was apparently his own biggest fan, so they would get on very well.

He was so enamoured with himself, apparently, that he made himself armours modelled on himself, with his own face on the helmet with massive rams horns and strange little prince-nez, and gave them to some of the kings of Europe, including Henry VIII. I am imagining Henry to be OMG SO EXCITED at this TO DIE FOR amazing gift from his hero, but today it is really very creepy to look at.  Not to mention astonishingly arrogant to a modern observer.

It is so striking it is used as the logo for the Royal Armouries in Leeds where you can go and see it for real.

Here is a pic.

And if you follow the link below you can see a video of a curator showing you it. Weird eh? But also amazing, and it gives us such an interesting insight

http://www.royalarmouries.org/visit-us/leeds/leeds-galleries/tournament-gallery/maximilian-i/the-horned-helmet-1-1

 

There was some more stuff too but I have entirely forgotten them. If anyone wants to prod me towards any of them please do!

Shared Earth

I just thought this was a wonderful and evocative picture.

From as young as we understand we are taught to share, not to hit our sister and so on. To play nicely. It's funny how quickly in life that is forgotten, or ignored. From the actions of drunks on a Saturday night, to the political conflicts between nations, and our impact on the environment and climate that we all share.

World. You have to learn to share. Or there will be no pudding (/Bangladesh). DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER!! She's much littler than you! (/less economically developed).

Catch up, Making Children Think, and Dads.

So. This year I seem to largely have forgotten to blog. This is mostly because facebook and twitter are absorbing most of my random outbursts and rants.

This means you may have missed out on some very exciting events. Here is a brief catch up since January.

“I just opened a door onto my own head. Either it was quite funny, or I hit my head quite hard.” 14^th Jan.

“I have made myself a snuggly warm giant fleece + duvet womb and im never ever coming out. Ever.” 10^th Feb. Needless to say this was not an accurate prediction of my future.

“RAAAAAAAA!!! (the noise of the massive graese/cholesterol chest burster currently gestating in my innards, will make.)” 15^th May

(Gap caused by the panic and general workload created by organising Leeds Swing Exchange.)

“If you were a saucy bar-mad/bar-man, what would your saucy bar-person name be? #MollyMelonsMcGrope” 23^rd August

“Is fretting about her dad who is in surgery right now having spinal things done. :( #lovesherdaddy” 24^th August. (He’s recovering well now btw)

“Found a pointy poppadom shard in my bed. #sexybachelorette” 2nd Sept.

So, now we’re up to date!

My New Daily Goal

My goal at the moment, is to make children (or adult visitors), think about something other than crisps.

This goal has always been there, but before, I always defined it as to inspire people to care about their own history, whether for the sake of loving their history or just to understand their cultural context, where we come from and who we are.

I have recently lowered my expectations of people quite considerably, so now the goal is to make them THINK. About anything. History- great, but if they think about the biology of whatever, or the way of building, or metalworking, or how to read the map of the archaeology, or basic maths, that is fantastic.

Even if it’s just getting them to work out what word sounds a bit like Penninger and we use in our money. And it’s a small value coin today. And it’s brown. Any guesses? No. Not penguin. 

But if you guessed penguin (child of 5-6) at least you thought about it, and gave it a stab, and voiced your idea, and gave everyone around you a bit of a chuckle. That is a *good* thing. But my favourite answer will always be “Flamingo.”

Parents who tell your child the answers when I ask them questions to work out or things to spot- you are not helping.

You are not helping them to use their brain, to problem solve, to think. You are teaching them to parrot rather than understand, and don’t credit them with enough intelligence to work it out themselves, which will not encourage their self-esteem or development. Alternatively you want to show you know the answer. Well that’s ok, but let you’re kiddie have a go first.

Basically, my aim is to SAVE HUMANITY, because kids who don't think will soon be adults who don't think.

 

My Delicate Female Emotions and Dads.

Dad had some spinal surgery a week and a bit ago. He had been incapacitated, unable to walk or move with intense pain and immobility for about 3 weeks prior to that, and since his spine has been fiddle with he is no longer in pain and able to move much more than he could. Unfortunately now his muscles have shrunk and weakened and his fitness level is incredibly low, but he is def on the mend.

I was very emotional and stressed about this at the time of the operation and a few days before. I knew that the odds of the operation were good, but general anaesthetics and fiddling with spines are dangerous! And I am super-extra-sentimental about my Daddy, and about anything to do with dads and daughters.

 Anything that discusses the relationship between a dad and daughter is pretty much guaranteed to make me cry within about 30 second of the subject being introduced.

Dad: the source of my "unique" and free sense of humour.

But then I am always a bit of a leaky tap and ready to cry at the

mildest familial affection or tragedy in any book, film, advert, tv program or even thought. The VW Polo Advert about the devoted dad looking after his daughter is a good example. I didn’t watch it when I found this link because I know it has me in floods of irrational tears the moment I think of it.

It’s *incredibly* embarrassing for a modern, adult, independent woman who suffers idiots extremely irritably. Get a grip! I am the sort of person who wrote one of these reviews. I am not a Victorian feeble minded female swooner. So I do sometimes feel like a bit of a traitor to my emancipated gender and brain.

I also love baking, crafts, children and kittens. If I'd been born pre-WWII I probably would have been very happy as a housewife and mother. (TRAITOR!! Cries my emancipated educated brain).

 

Today Dad told me that the araldite holding his spine together fell out today. Mmm yum. He means the tissue glue holding the would together. He said he was worried that his brain would fall out. I told him, not unless his brain is in his lumbar spine. It’s his spinal cord that might fall out. “Well. That’s ok then!”

So that’s probably enough rambling for today.

Will try blog again soon, more frequently than every 6 months.

Inspirational

"Well, snow?? WELL??" and other stories.

Bring it, ice-bitch!

Well. As an update to my "preparation for the big freeze" blog of November time, I am disgruntled to inform you that no snow, or ice, or blizzards, or cataclysmic avalanches have occurred! Not around here anyway. Yes the weather outside *is* frightful, and the fire *is* so delightful, but the noisy goits battering against my window, and the dripping down the chimney are not the finely carved wonders which are snowflakes. Rain. Just rain. Oh and wind, don't forget wind. Rain's malicious bastard wing man. I hate those gits. Yuk and sulk.

I should have known I had sealed our fate to a wet, mild, miserable winter when I found an affordable snow shovel which fits comfortably in my boot. I'm such a fool.

Oh well. Perhaps snow will yet come, who knows. Here are some other stories:

New Year


Apparently it has just been the beginning of a new year. I have two thoughts on this subject:

1) Pah. "New Year". Everyone knows a year is a cycle and never stops or starts. A "New Year" just means we have a new artificially human number to write after it when we do boring things like think about finances, fill in legal documents etc. Pah.
2) Hurrah! It's a whole new world full of possibility and things I can do to change my life forever!

These two ideas do seem pretty inimical, but humans are not logical things. Especially not me. I think both of them at the same time. But their ranking depends on my mood.

Do you have any interesting new years resolutions? I have only the ideas that I have every new year ever.
"this will be the year when I get thin and fit!" I've basically given up with that one. The world is full of "easy ways to get thin". E.g. this from New Scientist. But the problem is I love eating chocolate pretty much constantly, which I don't think these easy ways can really accommodate.

(Speaking of "easy ways" to do something, in a newspaper recently we were reading about easy ways to save money. They were things like "charge your rechargeable items at work" and "try not to buy stuff". Who are these unsung genii, and why are we not worshipping them?)

I think I probably need to have some short term achievable goals. "This year I will buy milk, and replace my car's rear windscreen wiper". In that case, I've already achieved 100% success! NYRs FTW!


A few more things to mention. Futurama is genius. I just bought myself season 5 as a late Christmas present and am enjoying it. Here is an example of how it is awesome :) Also, using Fry as a brilliant example, I really want to introduce myself to people from now on with "Hello, I'm Helena. I can eat a hot dog under water!"
However, although it is great, whoever markets it is a massive ball of fail. It came out on the 26th December! 26th December?? What were they *thinking*?? I did ask Father Christmas for it, but he sent me a letter saying that even HE could not access these DVDs prior to their release date. But he said he'd sent some of the elves round to beat some marketing sense into the troglodytes who chose that date.


Random point number 3920: There is a blog for everything! Here are some examples.
Llama font! (say it with llamas)
Animals with casts (why...? just why.)
Goths Up Trees!
Disapproving Rabbits

One ironic point. The Blogger spell check doesn't recognise the word "blog." Or, in fact, "Blogger". Ironic? I'm not sure because some people get very upset about the misuse of "irony" when it's just coincidental, or...something else. But if it's not ironic, it's something a bit like irony. (disclaimer complete).

I think that's about all for now. Hope all is grand with you and all of the world!
Loves.

Happy Christmas Eve World!

Happy Christmas Eve! And look! there's a special visitor coming through this door! Yes! It's the Mayor of somewhere and a small unenthused/confused child! Hurray! Also a random man in red with a big white beard.
Because after all there's only one more sleep 'til Chriiiistmaaaaaas...

YAY!

23rd!! It's the 23rd!!

2 more days to go!! Hope you are all enjoying the festive season