Happy Winterfest! Dealing positively with the inevitable disappointments of Christmas

*WARNING* This is one of the sappiest posts I have ever written. I make no apologies however, as it is genuinely how I feel. But if you don't appreciate talking about festive joy and love here are some comedy ideas of the day I was kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates From Outer Space and The Baby-Safe Ball.


 Since I was very little, Christmas has been the most EXCITING, beautiful, joyful and happy experience of my year. I used to sing Christmas carols from July- any time after my birthday was fair gain for Christmas anticipation. It seems to me, a time of year where the whole object is to make each other happy, spend time together, make everything beautiful with lots of decoration, make nice music, eat loads of nice things, and a time where we were closer to magic than any other time. It was the most exciting and wonderful time in the world.

Here is a case in point. This is a happy little me, dressed up for the School Christmas Fair- excited pre winning a prize for the costume and being in the paper with the other winners and Father Christmas! We all knew Father Christmas was really Bill the school caretaker in a big fake beard really, but it was great in all ways :)
I did not know what wonders were to come!

 

Aaaahhh those Halcyon days...

However. As you grow up Christmas day becomes more and more of a disappointment every year. Even with my "being in Christmas" trick of lying with my head under the Christmas tree, looking up through the lights and decoration, which I discovered as a teenager when i wanted to try to capture some magic. And yes I still do this.

It is just another day. Especially in my house, were due to a certain relative being there we cannot do what we want with it, and enjoy our family Christmas which means so much to me. In stead we sit around in silence, being told we're doing everything wrong. 

This makes me immensely sad, because I still love Christmas and all that goes with it. Everything I've written after this I have deleted and rewritten. I still don't know how to put it, other than our Christmas has been stolen, unappreciatively, for the sake of being "polite". So I'll move on.

As really Christmas is one single day, there is so much pressure to have an *AMAZING* day, which will rarely ever happen as an adult. So my way of dealing with this is to think of Christmas as a whole season. A period of approximately a month in which we can celebrate. Of course the presents and big meal and stuff will happen on the 25th, but the parties and celebrations and fun, singing, even other Christmassy meals, social gatherings etc can bring joy and love to people any time around this time of year, and make the Christmas experience longer and fuller.

This video is pretty much the summation of my Christmas feelings. Muppets Christmas Carol is one of my favourite films, and is wonderfully touching and inciteful, and this is a brilliant number. But it doesn't have to be just for a single day.

So basically I am encouraging you, if you have lost the joy of Christmas a little, to think of it as a season, a few weeks, in which to spread joy, to be generous, to spend time with friends and family, buy a Big Issue, make interesting cakes for work, partake in a charity event, make things around you beautiful. wish strangers a happy Christmas, smile at people as you pass them in the street, sing and be merry.

These things will brighten many more days than your own.

It is the summer of the soul in December. In all the places you find love it feels like Christmas.

xxx

THE BIG FREEZE COMETH

THE BIG FREEZE COMETH

Our lakes and rivers, even the sea will freeze as solid and grey as fish-imbued iron, our eyelashes and beards white with ice, all our pipes will burst leaving our houses a solid waterfall of icicles, and travel will be impossible unless you happen to own a snow plough. Polar bears will migrate south and be found rummaging through our bins in the morning, and hitting a lumbering walrus as you drive to work will become a real and present threat. And we will all resort to eating our pets and relatives as trapped inside our houses, food grows short.

This is what shall occur when The Big Freeze cometh.

Or so says the papers (some of the more alarmist ones anyway…) And this year I’m inclined to believe them. Except for the fish-iron and cannibalism. Urban-Polar bears would be quite cool too.

As one of the “born to be mild” generation, the last few years have taken me by surprise, along with most other people under 40. Having never really had to deal with any real quantity of snow until the last few years it’s all been a bit surprising.

*This Year* though- I will be prepared.

I feel pretty ahead of the game already, having learnt to bleed a radiator last week. I have also been stocking up on tinned food, UHT milk, tea bags, frozen food, candles, and things like that. I’ve also tried to help my parents stock up on wood for their wood burning stove.

They’re both a bit injured right now. But their injuries are mildly amusing so I’ll detail further:

Mum: In a *FRENZY* of housework she managed to rupture a tendon in her finger. So she has a painful floppy finger. It is now in a splint to help it heal straight, rather than at an alarming angle. This means she’s having manual dexterity issues.

It also means that, as she is a GP, she is told by her patients at a rate of approx 1 per hour “Oh ho ho! You should see a doctor!”
This means she is also at constant risk of accidentally embedding a scalpel in someone’s face.

Dad: Dad ran down some concrete steps outside a service station, slipped on some slime, and landed his whole body weight on his shoulder- thus tearing something bad and meaning he can’t really use his left arm much, pick stuff up, chop wood etc.

As a result my Gran has trying to buy him some ill-advised crampons. She has been told that crampons on concrete aren’t necessarily a good idea, but she is not to be deterred. It’s a repeat of the lawn-aerating-shoe spikes she bought us all over again. She’ll be TERRIBLY and constantly offended if said crampons aren’t worn every day in all situations. Including funerals, surgery, and in the supermarket.

So anyway: these things mean that mum and dad do not have a big happy log store like they have in previous years which is one of the main reasons I *have* to get home soon, and before December. So I can go mad with an axe.
The other is to pick up my jingly reindeer horns etc.

If the Big Freeze cometh not, it shall be a bit of an anti-climax to be honest. This year I’m mentally mega prepared so it’d better snow!

So everyone: my message to you is to stock up on lots of tinned/tetra-packed goods, fuel if you use it other than from the mains. Make sure you have blanket/deicer/water etc in your car. Dishwasher salt so you can de-ice your path/steps too, because that always sells out reeeally quickly when there’s ice.

This is not the article I read re the Born to be Mild generation, but it is a little one you can read without having to pay or subscribe to the eMetro.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8852756/Young-Britons-cant-bleed-a-radiator.html

Also this year, hopefully if we are all prepared, and expecting it, we will be able to appreciate and admire the beauty of the snow, and enjoy it, mess around it in, and still be able to function and travel around.

Rather than just complaining about it. *Ceaselessly*. Please.

Found sheltering in our shed during The Big Freeze

Wouldn't it be nice if snow could be a beautiful thing, rather than an annoying thing?
Well... It can!