My Special Needs

I have been thinking a lot recently about "Special Needs". and I have had some very different experiences of it recently.

Example 1:
The other week I was doing a school talk at work for a group of children with a wheelchair user in it. This wheelchair user's problems were so severe that she keep almost leaping out of her chair to grab the children around her by the hair, and yank as hard as she could.

It took 3 teachers at one point to prise her fingers out of one girls golden curls, whilst another one stood with the girl, speaking calmly and comfortingly to her.

But the girl who was being attacked, and clearly in pain, sat quietly with her eyes closed, did not scream. Did not shout. Did not struggle. She just let it happen. She was used it it.

In fact the whole class was clearly so used to being attacked that no-one screamed. Or struggled. They didn't even really look or stare when she grabbed out again. In fact they didn't really react to anything much.

Including questions. They just sat silently, not reacting. They were used to not reacting...

Originally this worried me: after my talk my first thoughts were that the children were difficult to interest, because of the distraction they were so used to. They just didn't react.

But on second thoughts, further reflection and discussion with colleagues: On the really positive side, they just didn't react.

These children will grow up being tolerant and used to people with disabilities, they will not stare at a wheelchair user in the street, they will probably be more friendly and accepting to anyone they meet in the future with different physical or mental conditions.

They were more tolerant, and kinder, because of this, although also less reactive and less engaged.

For the wheelchair user herself, she got to be around loads of kids. To be involved in a way 20 years ago would be entirely inconceivable. I can't really comment further than that because I don't know enough about her - it could be she was extremely cognisant but from a strangers perspective it was impossible to know. But I think this is a good thing (intergration- not hair pulling: if hair pulling is going on the children should be spaced out enough not to easily reach, which is what happened after a few grabs).

Example 2:
Shortly after I had the above group, I did a Tudor tour for a small group of special needs kids. Remembering the wheelchair user I was apprehensive about how difficult it was going to be, and not looking forward to it.

Within about 5 minutes I was feeling very ashamed of this misapprehension.

These kids were one of the nicest, most attentive and kindest groups I had taken for ages. Possibly ever. They were the kind of kids I felt genuinely sad I would never see again after my tour. I still regret that at the end I forgot to take the time to tell them how great they had been, and how proud their school should be of their behaviour, knowledge and enthusiasm.

They were children of approximately 10-14 of mixed needs, and we ended up doing the tour at the level I would have done to enthusiastic 8-10 year olds.

They were the most involved I have ever seen- when I gave them characters in the house they walked in a different way, spoke in a different way, and improvised comedy dialogue in character. They were tolerant and kind to each other, particularly noticeable because of the mixed needs in the group, to a level much higher than you normally see in children this age.

Basically- these kids made me happy.

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These examples have stuck in my head recently, and made me challenge the way I see these learning needs.

By blogging about them here I have helped think about them myself, and hopefully helped others to think about disabilities, tolerance and happiness and the way they can fit together.

Finally: I want to bring to to your attention that technically *I* have learning difficulties. As do my sisters.
If you know me personally- maybe it will surprise you to know that on acception to university I was invited to come and register at disability services, and to be reassessed by a clinical psychologist. I was sent maps of where all the lifts and automatic doors on campus are, and I was offered physical assistants to help in my studies.

Because I am dyslexic. And even disability services couldn't get it right. A map of the lifts?? Really? Physical aid for going to the library?

Everyone makes misjudgements regarding people's learning needs, and even the specialists get it wrong.