new yearsy musings

So. It appears blogging happens in waves. I did have a good time at Christmas, and God-knows many things to rave about, as I battered angry old ladies and wrestled kindly vicars for the last sprouts, and muttered in a mad angry way, passively aggressively *near* shop assistants about what a stupid place to put the clotted cream and how it took me half an hour to find it. 

Also many things I should not think, about my grandmother, and her astonishing ways of insulting everyone possible at every moment available when she’s not actually sneezing or swallowing (chewing doesn’t count. Shudder). I don’t know how she dreams, but I expect dreams aren’t what they used to be, and everyone in them is misusing their time, by watching tv, using computers, talking on the phone, reading books, doing revision, making biscuits etc... Why aren’t they wooing suitable young men and playing tennis? (these are two suitable past times for young ladies).

Breathe.

It is perhaps a good thing that I did not blog during Christmas. But mostly I was too busy, as we had guests constantly, and it was all hands on deck to mop, vacuum, make mince pies etc etc.

So these are some thoughts I’ve been having more recently

PERSONAL GROOMING RELATED OPPRESSION!
If I take a long time in the bath or shower it is *not* my fault. I am forced to take a long time in order to conform to society’s expectations of women’s beauty. Ok, “beauty” may be stretching it, but appearance.

Therefore, irritating men on telly, don’t make jokes about women taking a long time to get ready to go places, if you can’t honestly say you wouldn’t form a different opinion of me if I went out like a mono-browed, moustachioed lady in tracksuit bottoms and fleece, whose puffy eyes are barely visible through the eyebrow-thicket and massive glasses.

I would *never* do this. I wouldn’t normally do this (I have been effectively conditioned!), but I fear this may have been the terrifying image which dragged her hairy knuckles through Sainsbury’s this evening, hunting and gathering for crisps. Wuuuhorraaahhhh....crrriiiisps....want crisps... ruuurrrrhur

VENUE OWNERS!!
If you have a venue, or if you are responsible for dealing with a venue. PICK UP THE FECKING PHONE!!! Did you know that sometimes there is a *PERSON* on the other side of the phone? They may want to use your venue, perchance for swing? THEY WOULD PAY YOU!!

Also, if you *do* pick up the phone and hear the word “dance” or “swing” (or even the other way round), don’t immediately dismiss it in horror with a disgusted “I don’t think we can accommodate that kind of behaviour”.  It’s not what it sounds like!!

On that subject, when approaching one possible venue I was asked if that were like pole dancing but with giant swings. Think of the friction burns!     

POST-CHRISTMAS JABBAFICATION

My aunt said this “Though sadly, the hind brain has become accustomed to Christmas eating regime and starts to panic if more than half an hour passes without food!” Troubles. I agree. Also I am largely at home at the moment (due to being useless to society and a drain on my parents) so there is nothing to stop me eating!! On the bright side though, I do have a *lot* of time to organise Leeds Swing Exchange, so Hurrah!! I am using my time for good, worthwhile things which will benefit others. Eee!!

 

I *LOVE* NORWAY (the webcomic character...)

 I have found a new favourite webcomic!! It is called Scandinavia and the World, and is all about the little personifications of countries interacting. http://satwcomic.com/everybody-can-have-boobs Hurrah! Found by the delightful Christina! Hurrah! Everyone should look.

It is sad that it isn’t the longest most exhaustive webcomic ever, so I have already looked at everything. But this is also a good thing, for my productivity...

Big new yearsy love