My Top 5 Ways to Improve the UK

Prompted by this http://www.bbc.co.uk/genius/ - I just *have* to throw my oar in. Sorry world.

My top five ways to improve the UK.

1) Mobile phones which play music outloud should be instantly confiscated and destroyed, and all unsold ones returned to factories, to have this remarkably anti-social function instantly removed.
Think of all the thousands of people on buses, trains, in the street, or just in daily life who are aggravated by being forced to listen to someone elses tinny distorted cruddy music? It's not the STYLE of music, it's the lack of free will not to listen. And the people playing it, who are so often doing it intentionally to show how cool and edgey their disrepect for other people is...

If users of said mobile phones are in school, meetings, libraries, "Quiet Coaches" etc, a socially cohesive community punishment may be served- which would bring others together for the postive purpose of removing this anti-social pest. E.g. being chained to a treadmill to power the school's lighting, or being made into compost for local allotments, etc.
 

2) All learner-drivers should have a minimum number of hours motorway driving practise before attempting their test. This is a sensible suggestion.

This would mean that people who are using the motorway WOULD BLOODY WELL KEEP LEFT (in the UK)!! YOU SHOULD DRIVE ON THE *LEFT*!! Then you can *OVERTAKE* on the right. If you are not overtaking something right now, YOU SHOULD BE LEFT!! And if you are on the RIGHT I hope you DIE HORRIBLY IN A SLOW AND BURNY WAY!

Rage caused by others misusing motorway lanes.

Not driving on the left, and causing others to slow or to be unable to overtake each other, should result in compulsary lesson or two on motorway driving and some kinda compulsory community helping activity- e.g. land maintenace, assisting with prison literacy programs, disability caring etc. By allowing offenders to pick their helpful activity you'd be optimising the chance that they may actually enjoy it and continue the worthwhile activity after the compulsory time limit. Alternatively, they could be used in the foundation of new road surfaces.


3) It should become a normal and pleasant occurance that frequently a different member of every work place bakes some kind of enjoyable confectionary. Including the boss. Once a week, or on different days to make it less routine and more exciting!

People who already have cake-day at their work have something to look forwards to, because, mmmm nom cake, and the person making the cake will enjoy the gratitude and compliments given by the co-workers. The participation of the boss will serve to help break down some of the social tension caused by the work hierarchy.

The other important thing about "cake-day" is that it would encourage everyone to practise, and then to experiment with their baking skills, and so to encourage them to be less reliant on pre-processed shop bought things, and rediscover the world of making stuff for yourself, so that the knowledge of cake is not lost to the take-away eating populace, and our children will know how to break an egg.


4) Disney films should become part of the primary school syllabus, along with idealised moral lessons in the classroom. This would basically just make everyone a nicer person, as when human nature kicks in and people behave in a less ideal fashion, they have a better starting position and so perhaps a better level of decreased behaviour.

Look at the love, friendship, appreciation of nature, and environmental importance featured in this little picture. See the bees in this pic are ideally coming towards us, rather than vanishing forever into the ether....

5) All automatic doors in shops, public buildings, basically anywhere should be removed. The only places where automatic doors may be permitted would be at supermarkets or airports- places where the things you are likely to be carrying, make doors difficult.

Automatic doors in shops for example, are a very bad idea because they open for much longer than people need them to, letting out heating and increasing the energy used to heat that building; they open accidently when you walk near them, again, increasing the money and carbon wasted through heating, and through opening the door, and they also encourage us to be lazy, as our arms get fatter and weaker every day. Shops who leave their doors open all the time are also culpable. Keep the heat in in order to ward of the climate apolcalypse and keep our arms fit and toned!

Save money, and help reduce Britain's bingo wings!