The Dark Lord eats Ginsters’ Peppered Steak Slices
How do Ginsters still exist? They provide food which is about 50% salt and 50% fat, either of a sausage roll/wrong shaped scotch egg variety, or strange pasties. Surely chicken slices and things with steak and gravy in them should be served hot?
Isn’t a cold chicken slice like eating congealed cream and chicken juice that has set into a jelly? Why would anyone do that voluntarily? Also on the few times I have eaten a sausage roll, or a strangely shaped scotch egg, the meat has had some hideously shaped gruesome lump in it containing both distressingly chewy and crunchy bit, and I have spat it out in a panic and thrown the whole thing away, vowing never to buy anything with unknown meat in it again. Also, the meat of the scotch egg was a very *very* dark grey. This is wrong.
To be fair I haven’t tried their sandwiches, as I consider mayonnaise one of the great gastronomical evils of this earth, and they are all heavily laden in it. But that to me is a failing too. There are plenty of people in the world who dislike mayonnaise, and all of us have trouble buying sandwiches.
In a large variety of convenience places- mostly petrol stations, Ginsters are the only available lunch-ish food. Why?? It’s horrid? Presumably there is some kinda violent monopolisation of the sandwich market going on? People baked into their own pies to warn off their company? Does Ginsters sponsor the Voldermort? People drowned in vats of mayonnaise. It makes me rethink the horrific lumpy sausage roll meat in a cold sweat.
In the paraphrased words of the evil baddy from Terry Pratchett’s “Going Postal”, Reacher Gilt- they aim not to provide a good service, but the only service, by suffocating the drivers of other deliveries with a grey and sausage shaped scotch egg.
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| Reacher Gilt. To be fair it'd probably have been difficult for him to get a normal job. E.g. teacher, dog trainer, admin assistant. |
Depressing people...
“Oh no! These people believe something different to us. Also some of them are prepared to take their difference in belief to devastatingly violent lengths. We’re not going to get out-done in outraged confrontational behaviour! How dare they win at being bastards! What can we do that will be really inflammatory whilst justified by the civilised concept of vengeance.
Inflammatory...
I’VE GOT IT!”
When I was little, like all children, me and my sisters would argue and fight and SCREAM at each other and things like that. Mum- “HELENA DON’T HIT MELISSA!” me aged 8 -“SHE HIT ME FIRST!” sister-“SHE WAS BEING ANNOYING!” me-“SHE WAS IN MY SPACE!” etc etc.
Happily we have left these Halcyon days behind us. But my point is, if children arguing on a car journey can at one point learn not to rise to provocation, to chose *not* not hit back, for the same of not escalating a conflict, surely someone in that Pastor’s life is able to say:
“Now Terry! I know they hit you first but that’s no excuse! Be a grown up boy and look out the window. See if you can see a tractor! Maybe we’ll have an ice cream at the next service station. Well done.”
Finally, something that isn’t a rant. Have a look here http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11213528
These are some extremely beautiful astronomical images which I wanted to share with you. Take some time to really sink your mind into them, with or without the commentary. These are images of the universe as it is every day, right now. And when I see these stars, I find it incredible to think that if I look up, I am really looking up through the vastness of the universe protected only by our atmosphere, before an endless vacuum between these phenomena.
In the day we are hide behind a blue screen and forget what lies beyond. But we are really just standing on the edge of a spectacular infinity which we barely ever really contemplate and appreciate.
Enjoy the pictures.
(unfortuantely I can't save and add any on here directly but I would have added this one )
What the hell has this done to all the line spacing? Bah oh well hopefully it gives the impression of intentional expression and clarity of thought. Maybes.
ReplyDelete"...when I see these stars, I find it incredible to think that if I look up, I am really looking up through the vastness of the universe protected only by our atmosphere, before an endless vacuum between these phenomena.
ReplyDeleteIn the day we are hide behind a blue screen and forget what lies beyond. But we are really just standing on the edge of a spectacular infinity which we barely ever really contemplate and appreciate."
Word.
People who don't like mayonnaise don't deserve sandwiches.
ReplyDelete